Livin' The Dream

I was reading something in my new book that really got me thinking. Got me thinking about the trials I am facing and this difficult transition.... "Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it-in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. Take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out..." I was on the road that led to my Master's degree for 7 years. I worked full-time, so for many years I could only take a few credits at school. 7 years is a long time to work towards a goal. It was all consuming at times. I loved striving to get the best grades possible and learn all that I could....now I am left with a fancy frame and an Ivy League degree on the wall....but what else? What now? I think the words in my book have been an impetus for me. I...

Ok, so as much as I am trying to be patient with the fact that my dream job is playing hide-and-seek, it's not easy. I have closed my eyes and counted to 10 at least a hundred times. Each day I have done my best to send my resume out so I am hoping that the calls for interviews will come flooding in any day now. With my free time I have enjoyed reading some of the books I have had to put on hold while I was in school. One of my favorites so far is, "Eat, Pray, Love." It is a woman's account of her personal spiritual journey. She spent over a month in Italy-yes, I covet that. Check it out if you have time. It's well worth it. Thanks to those of you who have been checking out my blog. With my wealth of free time I will continue to update, for soon enough I will be back to grind and have little time for it.

It's hard to believe this picture was taken a month ago. Yes, that's right. It has been a month since I graduated from Columbia! I am still searching for the dream job. I was feeling particularly impatient the other night. A friend of mine said, "Be patient, these things take time." He's right, I guess. They do. However, there is a part of me that thought it would be much easier. I have to remember that the economy has the job market very tight. Budget cuts have forced many experienced people out of work and they are willing to take what they can get...these are the people I am competing against. I will keep my head held high and never give up on the future I have dreamed of. Ahhhh, what a beautiful future it is. I can hardly wait!

So, I have been thinking lately. What do we do when all eyes are on us? Are we more of the person we want to be or less? Are we more agreeable, more willing to help and serve, and more willing to do what we know is right? And what becomes of us when others are not watching? When we feel like our actions will only be witnessed by a few (if any at all). Are we more willing to compromise our standards, settle for less of ourselves and perhaps even expect less of others? Living in New York City is an amazing blessing. Surrounded by countless people who are doing amazing things with their lives. Each working hard to "achieve" and accomplish what they feel they are here to do. I love that! But, it comes with challenges. Being one of millions, it's easy to feel like no one will ever know the life you lead....the choices you make...the amazing person you are destined to become. It's easy to let your light dim and just slip into the shadows. To be what you were ...

Graduate studies have ended, my lease for Columbia housing ended, my wonderful internship with the high school on the Lower East Side has ended, many friends have moved and gone...my time with them has ended.  It is a time for endings.  When something ends though, something else begins...so it is also a time for new beginnings.  So I am moving forward. I moved in with a wonderful girl named Julie.  She is a personal trainer and an amazing singer. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better and sharing this chapter of my life with her.  As I search for a job I really love and try to discover what the Lord has in store for me next, I feel a bit like the little frog in this picture.  Small and fragile, but filled with purpose.  Just look at him!  He, just like me, is definitely at the Lord's mercy.   I pray I can move forward with the faith and power of the lion and the horse while remembering I am in the Lord's hands (just like the tiny frog).  I know that as I trust in...